The Journey
by gokusgirl
Summary: Takezo reflects on his continued journey to greatness, and the love of his life. R&R.


**The Journey**

Written by gokusgirl

Disclaimer: I do not own Vagabond or any of its characters.

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In the start of my journey, I sought strength. I wanted to test my limits, to hone my skills, and see how far my bokken would take me.

It was all I had. I had a father that despised me, a mother that deserted me, a village that loathed me and a best friend that turned his back on me. It really didn't matter, though. I've been by myself for so long now that interacting with others made me numb. In most cases when I _did_ interact with someone, it usually ended in death. A person who's life was cut down way too short, seeking me out to send them straight to hell.

I gladly obliged.

I found out early in life that people fear what they cannot understand. I was an epiphany of that very assumption. I would show up bringing fear, death, carnage… and I would gobble it whole with my bloodlust until my belly was full. You see for me... killing is as easy of breathing.

It was all I had.

Besides my loneliness, I carried many other emotions. Hate, confusion, anger, sadness. They were my only companions. I lived by my wits alone, convinced that I needed no one. I've lived through some of the hardest times in the harshest surroundings, surving off the land like a feral madman. Or as many say, a demon child. Nothing kept me from following my journey, to becoming the invincible one under the sun.

And for a while, I believed I had no other reason to live but for that very purpose.

That was until Otsu began visiting me in my dreams.

In the beginning, my dreams would start with Otsu as a child, following me and Matahachi around like a lost puppy. She was a scrappy little thing, her hair wild and her kimono wrinkled. She would cry and pout when we refused to play with her, but was never afraid of being around me like the villagers and Matahachi were.

The dreams would evolve to Otsu being a young woman, of when I saw her last. The dreams became more vivid as I saw Otsu in a different light, acting in a different way. I can see the curve of her hip, the white column of her throat. She always appears to be staring at me; her moist, pink lips parted in a sensual gesture as her eyes close with those long, silky eyelids.

I was perplexed with this new predicament. The dream would come each night, in the same order and fashion. The only thing that changed was _how_ the older Otsu appeared. Each time more provocative; each time more tempting.

I knew nothing of wanting a woman. I had never given my own sexuality a thought because I was so focused on my path. That feeling, or urge was cast out of me with each duel, having my opponents wonder why was so ferocious, and demon-like.

I remember being on the run when I became a fugitive from Miyamoto Village. I stayed out in the woods for weeks, hungry, weak, exhausted. Any man that I encountered while I was out there was killed swiftly with my bokken, with the exception of Takuan and that Kōhei boy.

One night as I lay on the hard cold ground, I smelt something wonderful… my empty stomach twisted with anguish as my nose led me the heavenly aroma. I was nearly hundreds of feet when I heard voices. My acute hearing discovered that it was Otsu's voice, and I suddenly felt an emotion that I didn't know existed within me.

Joy.

I stood at the edge of her and Takuan's campsite, paralyzed with relief. I was weary of hiding and living in the elements, and I recalled her asking me about Oko. The tears that flowed down her face made me so angry at Matahachi, and I wanted to reach out to her, to console my friend and tell her he was not worthy. He was _never_ worthy.

But I couldn't.

I was weak from starvation, and my limbs couldn't move another step. Suddenly she rushed at me, bringing those frail arms around my filthy exterior, holding me tight. She wept into my chest, and I lost the power to speak. My vision was already blurry; but as I began to taken in her scent, the flowery, sun- kissed smell that is Otsu… I felt myself slip into unconsciousness. I felt suddenly at peace with myself, being surrounded by her. And whatever happened to me from that point would be fine… as long as I was near Otsu.

That memory, of her body so close to mine was frequently thought of during my travels. I used that fleeting moment to bring me back out the insanity that was my path.

My thoughts would always drift back to that dark eyed beauty that is Otsu. Despite us being apart; I felt like she was always with me. In mind, in sprit, and soul. I knew that I wanted her to be my wife; to bear my children and to grow old with me. I wanted to hold her close to me, to touch her in ways I couldn't explain. I knew that this empty feeling that loomed around inside me all along was me missing her. She was a part of me, as I was a part of her.

I knew she harbored the same feelings as I did, but she chose to keep her distance. She knew how important this journey was for me, so she made her mind up to not get in the way. I love her even more knowing this – to forsake a love for one's ambition speaks volumes. In so many ways Otsu and I are alike; we have sacrificed so much. And I am forever indebted to her loyalty, her kindness and most of all, her love.

So my journey is renewed… paved with enlightenment, struggle and strife. I can endure it all now since I know what waits for me in the end.

**The End**


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